What Makes a Great Life? | The Let Go

If each day I learn something, help or inspire someone, and laugh — life is great.

~Michael Kastenbaum

What makes a great life?

Pondering one of life’s big questions, I took a poll amongst friends, asking What makes a great life? As I was waiting for answers to return, I read a Harvard research paper that followed hundreds of men over a lifetime. Granted, they only interviewed men, so if it were gender-inclusive, I wonder if the answers would have been different, none the less it resulted in 3 key elements they discovered that make up a good life.

The results started with the conclusion that “a glimpse of any one moment in a life can be deeply misleading. To answer the question of what makes a great life, it’s essential to look at the whole picture”.

Success is seen from a broad perspective of an entire life, not from any particular moment or achievement. The primary lesson is to think long-term and make decisions with that perspective in mind. What will matter in 5 or 10 years? When you make decisions based on short-term criteria, the tides of life can change quickly. The key is to develop your ability to think long-term and connect your daily choices with an overarching purpose and vision. When you actively consider what success looks like in your life with a long-term perspective, you are more likely to be successful over the long haul.

Emotional intelligence is vital: These skills not only separated the successful from the less successful but changed throughout the participants’ lives. Many developed healthy “adaptations” after acting out unhealthy ones for years, even decades. This aligns with a growing body of evidence that emotional intelligence skills can be learned. Altruism — A commitment to others’ wellbeing, which is the skill of increasing empathy. Anticipation — Creating a sense of a positive outcome, which is exercising optimism. Suppression — A conscious decision to postpone an impulse or decision, applying consequential thinking and, to an extent, recognizing patterns. Sublimation — Finding outlets and expressions for feelings that promote growth and good choices, navigating emotions, and pursuing noble goals. Humor — Acquired through self-awareness.

Relationships, relationships, and relationships: Nobody cared about empathy or attachment when the study began. But the key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships. Close relationships are what keep people happy throughout their lives. The study found strong relationships far and away, the strongest predictor of life satisfaction, and better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, wealth, fame, IQ, or even genes. That finding proved true across the board among all participants.

My research was asking friends and family who responded via text, not research conducted over a lifetime. However, it is gender-inclusive, and the responses are surprisingly within the key elements of the Harvard study.

• Giving to others.
• A great life is when you learn about yourself, trust your innate knowing, and follow your hearts’ delight.
• Acceptance with joy. Acceptance is unavoidable, but joy is our choice😊.
• Love and the understanding that life is a roller coaster ride of your own design, so enjoy the process.
• Love (loving yourself and loving others), community (maybe family / a feeling of belonging), a sense of purpose (finding your strengths and exploring your interests), good health, and luck.
• A great life consists of friends you love and admire and who feel the same about you.
  A key element is the love and acceptance of family.
  A great life is one where you have both food and housing security.
• I believe love above all makes life great, being loved and giving love. It sounds corny, but it’s the best! Also, sex, dancing, food, psychedelic drugs, mezcal, fun friends, and being in nature.
• Having overall tranquility and knowing all will be ok.
• Purpose, pleasure, and peace of mind.
• It’s the ability to appreciate and be in the moment and to have gratitude and perspective as we navigate our journey. And to be surrounded by people who focus on giving the best of themselves, who are resourceful, courageous, and caring (especially when they share their insights) so that we are consistently inspired.
• Love, friends, variety, travel, nostalgia, and nature.
• Being able to love yourself and spread love around you. Enjoy each and every single moment. And appreciating the little things.
• Mental and physical health.
• A competent and passionate life, a life with meaning and purpose, enjoyable caring relationships that challenge us and love us rather than those that take from us. Happiness is the outgrowth of the above, not the main goal.
• Pure love, honesty, tennis, and working out.
• Health. Health. Health. And a happy home, good friends 😉
• Being able to be around animals!!! Cause people are too difficult.
• The unconditional love of friends and family, someone to stand by you in life’s good and bad, knowing we all face ups and downs. Love never fails.
• Friendship — to laugh — to give and receive love.
• Being present, kind, grateful, and stepping forward with the authentic self.
• Family and friends are part of a great life. Being able to do what you love. Enjoy what you have and maintain a positive outlook in life.
• Friendships. Having the time and wisdom to see the beauty around you and inside of you and accept it and enjoy it. And it is way easier to say it than to do it.
• Being in good health, financially stable, and happy to have a good relationship with my children and my brother/wife. Of course, grateful we are not suffering like Ukrainians nor in War.
• Let me have coffee. Coffee makes a great life.

As I read the responses from my friends, I was warmed by the love, compassion, and humor they expressed. Remembering to live our lives with a broad perspective of the long haul may assist us in letting go of that which we cannot control, thereby aiding us to travel down the path of happiness, love, and balance. When looking back upon our life, we will smile knowing it was indeed great.

If each day I show kindness to all beings and forgive those who do not, learn from every experience, be an example of the highest good I strive to be, and laugh easily, I know I am spreading love, and for me this is a great life.~Charisse Glenn

Originally published at https://www.theletgo.com on May 29, 2022.