How I Learned About Life Through Horses and Shenpa | The Let Go

“To understand the horse, you’ll find that you’re going to have to work on yourself.” ~ Ray Hunt

The Let Go is a phrase I coined when I first began working with people learning to ride their horses. When training and riding a horse, a cue is given, and then when the release of pressure or the let go happens, the horse processes what is asked for. The let go is the reward for making the right choice.

I discovered that whether I was working with horses, people, or on my self-understanding, it required the same perceptiveness. Learning to step out of our way is key to communication with the horse, which holds for me in life. To reach the levels I desired, I needed to let go of what I thought and be open to other ideas that came my way.

In Buddhism, there is a word called shenpa, which in Tibetan roughly translates to; attachment. Pema Chödrön talks about shenpa as the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down.

This closing down is the tightening of our muscles, and we experience it with the emotions shutting down. This reaction is what prevents us from being open-minded. A tight muscle is rigid, and a relaxed muscle is receptive. We have all seen it happen before us and have all been there. The arms fold across the chest, a stance is taken, the jaw tenses, and we may lose eye contact.

We cannot receive if we have already shut our ears and closed our minds. And barricaded our hearts.

To have willing communication with a horse, a human, or any living sentient being, requires a developed awareness within and discipline to keep it activated. We cannot expect a horse or person to give us something we cannot access ourselves. For example, to get respect, we need to earn it.

What I learned about life, I learned from my horses and shenpa.

Horses opened a pathway for me to see differently and ultimately face my true nature. Initially, I needed to cowboy up, show my strength and dominance, to teach them how to do something; with an “I’ll show you” attitude.

And then the world changed for me. At ten times my body weight, I needed to get smarter. This started the conversation, how could I get a horse to do what I wanted, as simply as possible?

For a relationship to ensue, I needed to learn to speak horse. I began to observe how they moved within a herd and interacted. Their communication, for the most part, was quiet; a flick of an ear, a sway of their body, or energy projected would alert the others of their intentions.

I was learning to become quiet within unlocked the sensors to hear what was non-verbally spoken. My inner life, the parts I hid away from myself, my fears, frustrations, and insecurities became evident the quieter I became. But unfortunately, they also stood in my way of clarity.

I can equate quietness with a walking meditation. It’s in the zone which can be experienced anywhere we are focused on something with intention. It changed how I moved around the horses. I developed patience for them that I did not have for myself, and consequently, with time, I am learning to become softer with myself.

This was my first clue to the let go. First, I needed to understand myself, my agenda, and my triggers to move forward. Then, to be open, I needed to face, acknowledge and let go. This was the shenpa, letting go of the attachment to those things that were no longer useful to my wellbeing.

Initially, we need to recognize what we are doing. It can feel complicated at first. We get our expectations in place and then want things immediately.

We can start by putting aside our anticipations of what we think should happen. Then replace those preconceived ideas of how long it will take and what it should be like, and allow whatever needs to be. As we slow down, a knowing unfolds. When we remove our plan, the horse feels it. They can then relax. This holds for all of our relationships. Letting go of the attachment to the outcome makes room for what is necessary.

When we begin noticing the slightest changes, our vision changes. As we see differently, endless possibilities are presented. We must be careful once we see a simple change; we don’t get greedy, wanting it finished or wrapped up in a bow. Shenpa teaches us to let go of the outcome. So, take the time, be clear with what we are asking for, and know that baby steps are steps forward even if you must stop and enjoy the vista for a bit, what will be will happen exactly at the time it needs to.

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”― Pema Chödrön,

Originally published at https://www.theletgo.com on August 1, 2022.