A No is to Know | The Let Go

People are often afraid to ask for fear of hearing “ No,” so, instead, they live in a world of false hope. The funny thing is, once you ask, you know, and sometimes the No is not wrong at all.

Although we often take No as a negative answer, it can often prove to be the opposite. No one can open up the future to opportunities unseen.

Sometimes to hear, No is good. Waiting for the diagnosis from our doctor, hearing No, you are all clear. With relief, No is the answer we were hoping for.

While Yes, has a happy feeling of generosity, creativity, and success, this one small word, No, holds many worries and rejections upon its tiny shoulders. No is often associated with negativity and criticism, yet, a No can indicate a change of direction is needed.

No’s can be helpful: A No can show us something that is not meant to be. No’s can alert us of needed boundaries, and they can keep us on track with our dietary needs, saying no to the extra serving or the jelly donut.
Our bodies sometimes get involved with telling usNo, when the hairs on the back of our neck raise to alert us to danger or our gut feeling, which is just a No in disguise, tells us to stop.

A door that doesn’t open when knocked on, is not your door.

When we jump to conclusions that No will be the answer, we may be asking the question with the wrong intent. Sometimes upon hearing the dreaded No, we personalize it as a direct affront to who we are instead of understanding a No is just an option we have not considered.

Taking No for an answer has its time and place; there is no defeat in hearing that tiny word that holds so much energy. If looked at with different eyes, a No is a safeguard to indicate we need to veer to the next path.

While the power of saying, No is the backbone to safeguard us from exploitation, to hear No is also a safeguard. It can alert us the universe is not quite ready for what we are offering or what we are offering is not quite prepared for the world.

I am one to challenge authority. When told something is impossible, I look to see how to make it possible, and when given No as a response, I question it. I don’t doubt that the answer is right or wrong, but instead, I ask myself how I could rephrase something or otherwise make an adjustment.

By questioning the No, we turn on our brains to reassess. As long as we don’t fall down the rabbit hole personalizing it into self-doubt and inadequacies, the No can propel us to make other choices. Often the benefits will far surpass the original expectations.

Amid a long-term relationship, a man proposed to me, and I said, No. Shortly after, we split. Within months he found the woman that said Yes. She was the woman; destiny had in store for him. My No became the impetus for him to find his, Yes.

No’s allow us to find what is in step with who we are at this precise moment because, in the click of the moment, a No might change to a Yes.

The next time you hear a No, do not fret. No is just to let you know there is something else.

Originally published at https://www.theletgo.com on January 19, 2020.